Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Auditors Do Not Make Good Harry Potter Fans.

One of my oldest friends, who for the purposes of this blog has requested to be referred to as "Apollo" (specifically from Battlestar Galactica, not the god), was texting me last week from his business trip in Florida.

That information alone sets the tone for this post.

Apollo and I have always known that we're a little nerdy - him more so than I, but nevertheless, we've been nerds together on and off since the sixth grade.

Let me just get right to it. Apollo has a grown up job. This means he doesn't work part-time in a bookshop, while also working three nights a week as a hostess at a restaurant, and then trying to make some sort of money by writing on the internet. No, Apollo is a field auditor for a big company, which results in him getting to go on business trips. Most recently he was sent to Florida and I don't know about the rest of the world, but I was under the impression that business trips were for business and business alone.

Apollo texted me from FREAKING HARRY POTTER WORLD.

The following is our conversation:

Apollo: Why isn't Hermione in Ravenclaw?!?!? This has been bothering me!!

Me: She could have been in either, but she chose Gryffindor. Same reason why Harry wasn't in Slytherin.

Apollo: Wtf is this with choices?!? Not everyone got a choice!

Me: Yes they do! It's what is in your heart! Harry chose not to be evil! The sorting hat tells Harry this in Dumbledore's office. Book 2, dude. Come on.

This continued on for quite a while. A frightening amount of time, actually. I would like to take this moment to remind everyone that we are grown adults and that Apollo was spending his auditing business trip at HARRY FREAKING POTTER WORLD.

After this, we moved on to talking about Battlestar Galactica. I would write about that conversation here, but there are way too many spoilers and I would hate myself for ruining any portion of BSG for anyone.

A few days later, Apollo texted me again...

Apollo: Totally got you a gift. AND IT WAS A LOT OF MONEY SO I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE IT!!!! But for some reason I feel like you already possess this item...

Me: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?! When do I get it??? And I probably don't have it. I don't have many things. Especially not expensive things.

Apollo: When I come home, whore!

Me: I'M SO EXCITED!!! I LOVE PRESENTS!!!!

Apollo: Don't build it up too much. It's not a wand. That had a two hour line to get a custom one.

Me: Haha, you wouldn't be able to get mine anyway. The wand chooses the witch or wizard, so I'd have to be present. Duh.

Apollo: F--k me, how could I forget? I'm dumb.

Me: You don't even deserve to have entered HPW.

Apollo: But I did. And you didn't. Jealous much?!? ;D

Me: We're done here. .... But I still want my present.

I guess my point here is that no matter how old I get, I'm always going to love Harry Potter. Is that my point? Maybe I don't really know what my point is. Maybe my point is that there is always someone who gets to go where they don't deserve to. For example, of the two of us, I'm pretty sure that I'm the more devoted Harry Potter fan, but I'm stuck at home - and Apollo was supposed to be auditing! I'm pretty sure he wasn't counting anyone's knuts and galleons over there!

I sure hope Heaven doesn't operate on these terms or I'm gonna be pissed.


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