Thursday, October 4, 2012

I Win at Shopping

Last night, Dragon and I were shopping at a huge corporate chain that I normally hate supporting, but due to the time of night and my meager finances, I didn't have a choice. 

Shopping with Dragon is always an ordeal. We don't fight, necessarily, but I become a small child in stores. 

Allow me to explain... This was our conversation last night at 10:30 in the store:

Me: OOooooo... look at this!

Dragon: Emelie, please don't wander off and make me have to search for you.

Me: Why are you holding my hand?

Dragon: So that you don't wander off.

Me: Oh, not because you love me?

Dragon: *sigh...*

Me: Will you buy some dinner that I can eat, too? (I'm a vegetarian. Dragon is not. Shopping together is also difficult for this reason.)

Dragon: Sure, but why?

Me: I have no money.

Dragon: ...Why don't you have any money?

Me: Because rent was due on Monday and I don't get paid until Friday, so I opted to buy food for Gio instead of myself.

Dragon: ...

Me: ...

And then I saw it.

Me: *GASP!* Oh my gosh! I love it!

Dragon: Sucks that you don't have any money.

Me: It's only two dollars!

Dragon: And you have no dollars.

Me: Well, I have two dollars....

Dragon: Emelie, no. You don't need that.

Me: But, Dragon... It's a freaking Elmo Sandwich Case!! All of my sandwiches would be filled with love and freshness!

Dragon: No.

Me: Fine... Can I come back on Friday after I get paid and buy it?

Dragon: Even though you're an adult with your own car, I'm still going to say no. Maybe this is what you need: someone telling you "yes" or "no" like a parent for the rest of your life.

Me: Noooo......

So we continued serpentining through the aisles, getting "necessities" like food and stuff, but I couldn't get my mind off of that Elmo Sandwich Case. I needed it. It would motivate me to make sandwiches...

So I wandered off...quietly and quickly. 

Dragon: Goddammit.

I returned to my loving boyfriend with a triumphant grin on my face, carrying the soon-to-be-mine sandwich case. Dragon rolled his eyes and sighed with frustration. 

And that is how I won that battle. Now I just need to buy some bread, bananas, and peanut butter. 


  1. Personally, I would have sided with Dragon but not for the same reasons he proposed. Its your two dollars to spend however you want. Yet I am terrified of Elmo--hes just way too happy and laughs inappropriately. Therefore, I will not be visiting you during lunch hours or when that THING is on your counter!

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